I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
