Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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