i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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