i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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