I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
