it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
