Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
