I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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