Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
