In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Randomize
