Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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