big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Why can't burritos get me drunk
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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