based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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