This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize