you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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