Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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