WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
