i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
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