Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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