My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
