The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
