I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
