In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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