He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
