now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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