I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
