how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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