Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
