We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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