I'm eating all of the evidence.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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