What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
