I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
