i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
