Whod you bang
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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