First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
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