So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
