At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
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