somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
