IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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