"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
