So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
