Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
