At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize