shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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