mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
