why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
