When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
