I wish you could order shots online.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize