member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
