I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
