Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
