he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
