have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
