i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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