i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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