I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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