im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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