And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I love how my cats smell like pot.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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