I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Randomize
