I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
