All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
