They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize