I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
